I think I’ll remember my own LIFE

Ugh.  I feel like complete and utter crap this morning.  We went out to Sharkie’s last night and I had a really good time (even if the stupid band ignored our one freaking request…but whatever), but I seriously woke up feeling terrible this morning (and I didn’t even do anything!  Literally…I drank ginger ale all night…).  I have no desire to go running later.  Ugh.

However, Oscar was sort of awesome this morning.  He totally slept in and let me sleep in.  And he didn’t have any accidents before I woke up.  So around 9:45 this morning I finally took him outside.  Usually, the people in my apt. complex walk their dogs around 8-9 in the morning.  However, apparently this morning EVERYONE slept in and there were like 15 dogs out there.  Now Oscar is insanely anti-social and hates other dogs (at least while he’s on a leash) and was so annoying outside.  He wouldn’t shut up…and kept trying to run to the other dogs.  I was so not in the mood to deal with him.  He FINALLY finished and we came back inside and I was so frustrated and tired and blechy feeling.  I just went and laid back down and read a book. 

I finally managed to drag my ass outside and went and got some coffee and I ran to Target (I FINALLY remembered to buy some freaking hand soap for the bathroom).  Now I plan to sit here all afternoon and not move until I have to go drop Oscar off at R’s house.  The most strenuous task of the day will be cutting Oscar’s nails (which can be highly annoying…but they are insanely long right now).  Luckily he goes to the vet soon for some vaccines so I can just make them do a better job.  I may work up the energy to go running.  If I’m lucky.

Ugh…I think it may be nap time right now :-). 

So yesterday was the first day I was able to run the full distance of my training schedule without having to stop and walk.  I know it’s not that big of an accomplishment…but it still made me feel better about myself.  And I can see that I AM improving (albeit very slowly…). 

We also booked our hotel room for labor day weekend. K rocks hardcore and is using some of her Marriott points to get us a room down the beach.  So we don’t have to pay for it (which is awesome…since the rooms are going for about $250/night if you don’t want to stay in a roach infested hotel).  One of the few hotels we could actually afford had the worst reveiw ever.  The people complained about finding roaches in the their rooms, the carpet was sticky, and there was a guy in the parking lot playing with Mr. Happy.  I quickly vetoed that idea.  Then, I remembered K had offered to use some of her points and that settled that. 

I’m also trying to find someone to run with me in the Philly half marathon which is about 3 weeks after the one in Virginia Beach.  Any takers?  I thought my dad would maybe do it…but he’s wussing out on me.  Claiming he’s “too old” and his body is “complaining”.  Just remember dad…you have to suffer if you want to sing the blues!  If anyone knows of anyone that would be interested please let me know!  I really don’t want to run it by myself.  (Boring!)

Anyways, I’m trying to get ready for my trip to Indiana (again).  I leave this Sunday and I’ll be back either late Wednesday or early Thursday.  Boo!  However, my boss said I could leave early today since I’ve been doing so much weekend traveling lately.  Woohoo!  So I am outta here. 

I was tagged awhile back. Here’s 7 random facts/weird things about me that I know you’re all just dying to know.

1. I get physically uncomfortable watching any scenes in tv shows or movies where someone gets embarrassed or makes a fool of themselves. I get extremely twitchy and feel the need to change the channel THAT INSTANT.  Or, if i’m watching it with someone else I HAVE to leave the room and come back when the scene is finished.  

2. I am fascinated with crime shows on TV.  Once I watch one, I get hooked and will watch about 6 in a row if I can…and I get grumpy if other people want to change the channel b/c I’m not done solving the mysteries!  The way I get around this is to not have cable.  If I don’t have cable…I can’t get stuck watching Law & Order and other awesome shows like that. 

3. I am very unassertive (mostly in my personal life…not so much at work).  I tend to let people walk all over me.  I actually got yelled at all the time in college that I needed to grow a backbone.  I finally got the nerve to stand up to a friend that had been complaining about my lack of nerve for years.  We are no longer friends.  Apparently she didn’t really want me to grow a backbone when it came to her.  I’m also MUCH better than I used to be, however, on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being “Hell No I won’t do it!” and a 1 being “please, let me wipe your ass for you”…I think I’m a 2…maybe a 3 if I feel VERY strongly about something.  In college…I think I was probably a -5. 

4. I gag everytime I bite into a tomato or tomato seed.  Literally.  However, I adore cucumbers and eat them almost everyday (even though the seeds of a cucumber are just as nasty as a tomato).  I actually force myself to try tomatoes once a year to see if maybe I’ve overcome my hatred of them.  So far…still gagging.

5. I was the spelling bee champ for my class in 5th grade.  My family didn’t believe me because I was such an atrocious speller as a kid.  I kid you not…I spelled “which” wrong everytime from the age of 5-8 (I always wrote wich).  I never learned.  I then came in second for the overall 5th grade spelling bee (the winners from all 6 classes).  I lost to Danielle D.  I couldn’t spell the word breathe.  I forgot the e at the end.  Stupid silent letters.  Got me everytime. 

6. When I was a kid, I had to sleep with door to my bedroom wide open and the hall light and bathroom light on.  Not because I was scared of the dark, but because I was never tired at bedtime and wanted to stay up and read.  So I would read by the light through the door.  My mom would always turn off the hall light and I would turn it back on a few minutes later.  I got caught reading by my parents all the time and I always got yelled at to go to bed (I really wasn’t tired).  I still find it funny I got in trouble for reading as a child.  I finally started hiding flashlights under my pillow and using those instead.  
 
7. I made the coolest science project in 4th grade.  I still get made fun of ifor t at home.  We had to build a complex machine that would be useful around the house.  I made a car key carrier.  It consisted of a wooden block with a thumbtack pushed into it for the keys to be hooked on.  The wooden block then sat on two wheels and axle (which I think may have been thread spools…I’m not really sure) which was my first simple machine.  And it had a handle attached which was the second simple tool (a lever).  After I got it back and brought it home my family saw it and LAUGHED at me (it really was a pretty lame tool).  However, what I didn’t tell my parents is that I had forgotten we had to do it until we were handing them in.  I told my teacher I left mine at home (and since I was such a suck-up she believed me).  I had one afternoon to make something and I was scared to tell my mom that I hadn’t done my homework.  So I had to make it out of stuff I had in my bedroom.  That was what I came up with.  Apparently the teacher didn’t think it was too lame.  I got a B+ on it.  So there. 

I have lots of thoughts running through my head constantly.  I have awesome stories I make up, cool scenarios, weird questions that I’m curious about (L can totally attest to that), and just stuff.  All up there constantly being thought up, pondered, and elaborated on.  Then…I try to get it down on paper or say it out loud to people…and the thoughts just disappear.  My mind goes blank.  Literally, they just disappear and it’s like I’ve lost a memory or some comforting thought that was always there before and is just gone. 

I feel like the girl from show, “Dead Like Me”, which by the way is an awesome show.  Bravo should bring it back.  The main girl gets killed in a freak accident (A space station explodes, and one of its toilet seats plummets to earth and hits her) and she becomes a grim reaper and has to go collect the souls of other people right before they die.  However, she has a hard time accepting this (I would as well), and keeps trying to go back to her family.  She actually goes to her house and tries to convince her mom that it’s really her (except she looks completely different now).  Everytime she tries to mention something that only they would know…she just loses the memory and it’s gone forever.  So the more she tries to tell her, the more she forgets.  That’s literally how I feel when I try to write something down or say something out loud.  It’s completely weird.

This just happened to me today.  I was daydreaming in a meeting, and I thought of a great story to write about.  I tried to jot down some notes of it during the meeting, but when I went back over the notes…it was like the unifying theme just wasn’t there.  And I totally forget what it was.  So…instead you get this.  I wish there was a way to hook my brain up to a translator that could read my brainwaves and just write down what I’m thinking in English.  I’d be the best author ever…and you wouldn’t be stuck reading my crap that makes no sense. 

Blah, I’m going to go think of some wonderful stories that will never be told.     

So…I have come to the realization I don’t really like my job.  I was in a wonderful mood this morning (12 hours of sleep will put anyone in a good mood!), but by about 11 this morning…I was so grumpy.  I’m not even really sure why. 

As I said earlier…I got 12 hours of sleep last night!  Apparently building houses makes me exhausted b/c I fell asleep on my couch at like 7:00…and didn’t wake up until my cell phone alarm went off around 6:45 this morning (it may have had more to do with building houses on only 4 hours of sleep…but whatever).  Poor Oscar was totally ready to go outside.  (I’m just super impressed he managed to actually WAIT to go out).  Anyways, I was wide awake and noticeably happy (Ok…seriously…I had to call a vendor to set up a trial date and he even commented on how happy and awake I sounded and that he was jealous).  Then…I spoke to him a few hours later, and he was like…hmm…you don’t sound so awake any more. 

I think it’s being here.  It’s beginning to suck away my happiness.  I truly don’t like the project that I’m on, people are pissing me off with their attitudes…and the whole big lay-off thing is making them even worse, the food at lunch totally sucks this week (ok…I’m not picky (my sister would disagree…but seriously…I can usually deal with the food I am given and I just eat around or pick out the nastiness)…but if I can’t even find ONE day in the menu that I can even sort of want to eat ONE of the items they’re serving…the food sucks), I’m RIDICULOUSLY sick of traveling so much, and I’m insanely bored.  And I realize in the grand scheme of things…bad food isn’t that big a deal…but it’s definitely contributing to my grumpiness this week.  I actually filled out my papers to “opt-out” and leave, but I couldn’t bring myself to hand them in.  I have this utter fear of leaving a job before having another job lined up.  (Speaking of…I really must update my resume and apply to the job J showed me).  I know that I have 6 months to find something…but I was looking a few months ago, and didn’t really find anything, and with the economy as shitty as it is…not too many people are hiring.  So…do I really want to take the chance I won’t find something in 6 months? 

Also…could I whine anymore?  Seriously?  I don’t have a BAD job…in fact I have a job that A LOT of people would LOVE to have.  I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be laid off (it is a possibility still…but it doesn’t look like it will happen) even though a lot of people I know will be.  In general, I shouldn’t bitch.  I actually really wish I could request to go back under my old boss (this whole hating my job didn’t start until they transferred me to a new boss).  I don’t know if I just liked him better…and therefore didn’t mind the work as much, or if he truly gave me better projects (maybe a mixture of both)…but I was A LOT happier working for him and I don’t think I whined as much as I do right now. 

Then again, maybe I’m just remembering the “good old days” that actually sucked as much as they do now…and I’m just trying to convince myself they were better.

And yeah…for anyone still reading…sorry for such a crappy post.  Apparently I want to put everyone esle in a horrible mood to match mine. 

On a funnier note…apparently Oscar snuggled up in my hoodie this morning as I was getting dressed…b/c it totally smells like him (which isn’t quite the smell I want to be giving off at work).  I keep trying to take it off…but then I totally freeze and have to put it back on…I’m just hoping nobody else smells me :-P 

Ok…this will be the most rambling post ever.  Deal with it.

Now…is there anything cuter than a happy baby?  How about a happy baby in a homemade christening outfit? 

I am sooo bored.  The process is still not working (don’t even get me started about the start-up process.)  We’re pretty far behind where we said we would be…and we probably won’t even get anything going for at least another 5 hours.  That would be fine…if I had something else to work on.  Unfortunately, I don’t really have enough to do today.  I was expecting to be running equipment (not watching them rewire it) today, and I finished all my work yesterday.  So…today I’m sitting around twiddling my thumbs (and I’m stuck here for another day…sigh).  I kind of wish I could work on L’s socks while I was sitting here…but I don’t think that’s quite kosher.   Boo.  Instead…I’m forced to listen to the annoying controls engineer be obnoxious.  He’s one of those people that has a story for EVERYTHING (except his stories suck and make no sense).  I realize, I probably shouldn’t complain…I tend to talk a lot and tell pointless stories too…but not to people I don’t know (I save my stupid stories for friends and family…geez).  So far I have had to listen to how cheap he is (apparently his parents taught him all about depression values…whatever), all his stupid jail stories (except he didn’t really spend his time IN jail…just working there).  Even the other people are getting annoyed at his stories.  He is currently lecturing me on making sure I don’t waste my money buying bottled water and that I should be wanting to get married.  Ugh.  If you don’t know me…DON’T lecture me!

But…no complaining…so moving on.  I went to the yarn store here to buy yarn to make some gloves for my mom.  I went specifically for one type of yarn…and they didn’t have it.  AND…as a personal victory, I resisted the call of wool…and didn’t buy ANYTHING (not even the super beautiful skeins of sock yarn that I really wanted to work with).  Seriously, I don’t think you realize how big a deal this is…I can’t enter a yarn store and not walk out with at least one skein…but I did it.  I rock :-P  (I just realized how pathetic that sounds…but whatever.  I like yarn).  However, speaking of socks, I finished the first one of L’s socks (I can’t tell if I like it…but I figured I would show her and let her decide if she likes them.)  I like the sock pattern…but I’m not sure if I like the yarn for this pattern (I would love it if not for the random white blotches that show up).  I also started a new sock for myself (using that awesome yarn I had that lady make me) with a super cool toe up method (teaching myself something new).  I usually start with the cuff of the sock and work down to the toe, but this way I started with the toe and worked my way up to the cuff (it’s a good way to make sure you have enough for two pairs of socks without wasting any yarn).  However, I actually really don’t like the pattern I originally used…so I’m going to rip it all back and I think I’m going to try and make my own pattern.  We’ll see how that turns out. 

So…now I’m going to go call some vendors and try and set up some trials for the next few weeks (yay fake work!) and then I’ll go work on designing my sock.

This trip is turning into all kinds of fun.  Last night’s flight was SOOOO long.  We hit all sorts of head winds getting here so it took an extra 30-40 minutes to get here.   Blechy.  Then we sat on the runway for a little bit in Indiana (since we were late they had given away our gate??).  But what I really wanted to know…was how many flights did they have arriving last night around midnight that they didn’t have any gates?  Whatevs, once I finally got off the plane and got my car and got to the hotel it was late (like 1:30ish).  I was supposed to be at the facility at 8AM this morning.  I think I woke up around 8:30ish and made it here around 9:30.  Oops.  Whatever, the guy I was meeting wasn’t even here (hell…he wasn’t even in the state at that point) yet…so no biggie. 

 

However, I’m not really a fan of the controls engineer here.  Jesus!  The first thing he does is come in and say, “Oh you work for Philip Morris?  Bang!” (he proceeded to make the gun symbol with his thumb and pointer finger, and then pretended to shoot me…).  Um ok…I’ve never even met this man before in my life.  I don’t know about you…but I prefer to know a person at least 5 minutes before I pretend to kill them (as suggested by Miss Manners)…but maybe that’s just me?  Then he’s talking all about how he’s only been doing this for 6 years or so because before that he spent 6 years in drugs and another 12? in prison.  He meant he worked for the pharma industry and then designed security systems for a jail.  I hate when people try to be funny like that.  It’s not funny.  It’s lame.  Then, he was talking all about how he had to get naked with a really gorgeous 20-something year old…with his wife watching (she was a goddamn nurse!) and he was trying hard not to get excited.  Ugh.  I hate old men.  They’re gross and creepy and disgusting.  I’m so glad I’ll never be one.   

 

I’m also feeling slightly guilty.  Apparently this company had to hire another person to assist us with our work…and I feel awful b/c I’m not allowed to tell them we’re probably going to be cancelling our contract.  Ugh.  (However, the new hire is REALLY cute…as is the one electrician).  Apparently they raise them good in Indiana J.  So at least I’ll have something good to look at while I’m here (instead of that disgusting old man).

 

I had a lovely time at H’s baptism (and the outfit actually fit him!) and everyone liked his little knitted outfit (or at least they pretended to…) so that was happy.  I will eventually post fun pictures, however, I’m a moron.  I forgot to bring my camera cord with me to Indiana so I have no way of getting the pictures from my camera to my computer.  Therefore, I can’t put them on until I get back to my mom and dad’s house.  But, wait till you see how absolutely adorable H is.  He was all smiles and giggles all day and so super cute.  I have the best god-son ever (well…I guess he’s tied with J’s god-son).  You know you’re all jealous of us. 

 

*Random side note:  they ordered lunch for us today from The Olive Garden…they had spaghetti logs!  (ok only one…but still…I had a spaghetti log!  Just like home haha).

That pretty much sums up how I am feeling about Oscar right now.  We are currently in a battle of wills…and the really pathetic thing is that he appears to be winning.  Dammit!  Apparently, this little shit that doesn’t even weigh 10 lbs and has the mental capacity of a two year old can out-stubborn me.  Seriously? 

We are currently battling it out over peeing.  Yes, peeing.  He is apparently angry at me for SOME unknown reason.  Seriously, I have no idea why.  However, he now REFUSES to pee outside if I’m walking him.  But only if I’M walking him.  I made C take him out…no problems.  I think even K took him out and again no problems.  I take him out, he’ll poop and walk and prance about…but no goddamn peeing is involved.  Then, I bring him back inside and he goes straight to whatever he wants to pee on and lifts his leg.  So I yell at him (and scare him mean mom) and pick him up and run him straight back outside where he proceeds to stare me down for 5 minutes.  Again with the no peeing.  So we go inside I put him in his crate for 5-10 minutes.  Take him back outside…again no peeing.  We’ll come back inside and he runs away and attempts to pee again.  This can go on for hours!  I don’t really have hours in the morning…and I hate leaving him in his crate all day, especially if I know I’m not going to be home until late.  What if something happens to me?  He’ll be stuck.  I mean, I at least want to leave him access to water in case I end up in an accident and nobody remembers him for a day or two…but seriously.  UGH.  So…he finally realized that if he doesn’t pee when he’s outside, he gets put in his crate.  So…he has figured out how to empty half of his bladder outside, then when we go inside…he pees again (or attempts to).  Or sometimes he’ll go outside and wait half an hour when I’m not really expecting it and go again inside.  Seriously?  I want to kill my dog right now. 

I thought at first maybe he had a bladder infection or something…but he’s not peeing more frequently or anything like that, and he has no problems if other people walk him.  It’s totally me.  So he’s angry about something and until I figure out what…the little shit is just going to keep pissing me off (no pun intended). 

Stupid little piece of poop!

Today is random weird things day.

My favorite…glad I don’t look like this.  Seriously?  Compared to Gollum???

I wonder what the boyfriend did when he had to go to the bathroom?  Did they have a second one?

This is just gross.  L and J…I love you…but don’t expect me to do this…

This just makes me sad.  How did anyone even live through this…and how does Nick not even go visit the guy?

I really thought he was gay? 

Ok…enough links for today. 

I was meeting with my manager and we were discussing how to decommission the current project I’m on.  He read the email sent by our director and it said something along the lines of “determine the best method for decommissioning the equipment…and re-allocating our resources.”  Apparently…I’m a resource.  I feel like the assassins in the Bourne Movies.  They’re just known as assets… and I’m just known as a resource.  Nice.

However, I did get another project assigned today (wow…I’m really smoking now).  This really sucks.  My last manager used to give me like 5 projects at once (I even sometimes had to go beg him for more work but he would always give it to me).  And although I would get overwhelmed sometimes when everything came do at once…at least I was busy and I felt like I was accomplishing things.  I feel like my new manager grudgingly gives me one project at a time.  I work terribly like this.  I need to be overworked in order to work well.  Seriously, when I’m underworked, I just kind of sit and procrastinate (kind of like now), but when I’m overworked I just get in the groove and get everything done.  Sigh…give me more work!

Anyways, I’m going to maybe go do some work.  Or maybe I’ll just go look at more stories online instead.