I think I’ll remember my own LIFE

For the gajillionth time…I complain.  What?  What’s this?  S is complaining?  Shocking! 

But let me just tell you all the reasons I hate running: 

• I sweat.  A lot.  I can’t even lie and say I “glisten” b/c I don’t.  It’s gross.  Now, I don’t know if this would bother me quite so much if my sister DIDN’T sweat.  At all.  Stupid jerk.  I think maybe on the hottest day of the year as she was lighting a fire and running a marathon…she may begin to glisten…but that’s about it.  I know I know…sweating is good for you…it keeps your body from overheating.  Well…you know what.  She doesn’t sweat and nothing has happened to her yet.  She’s almost 30 (God J…you’re going to be 30 this year!) and looks great.  There’s nothing wrong with her.  I would much rather have her problem than mine.  I apparently  received the sweat glands for both of us.  Ugh.
• I have boobs.  (I can totally hear the shocked gasps now.  Oh my goodness…S has boobs?  I never saw them before!!!).  OK enough sarcasm there.  But seriously.  Hello sports bra makers?  Can we make a sports bra for people that actually have breasts and I’m not talking about a stinking B cup (Oh…and can it not cost more than $50? thanks you rock.).  Since High School I have been plagued with sports bras that suck.  I had to wear TWO sports bras in order to hold those suckers down.  Even now…I wear two sports bras, and a tank top with a built in shelf bra…and yeah…still bouncing (although…they squish them together so much that I at least don’t get that awful occurence known as cleavage sweat…that would just suck even more).  Grr.  I actually have to pick my treadmill based on the mirrors in the room.  I can’t run in front of a mirror.  I get majorly tired just watching the girls bouncing.  It’s hard work!  Granted…the two sports bras are enough that it doesn’t hurt or anything…it’s just highly distracting.  So…my suggestion…make a bra that is capable of holding things in place.  Oh what’s this I hear?  They have already invented something that does this?  It’s called duct tape those suckers down?  Ahh…I’ll have to give that a try next time. 

Um yeah…so actually I think those are my only two complaints about running.  The rest of my running experiences are pretty much positive…but I have to say…those two negatives are almost enough to make me hate running completely.

But just so I end this on a positive note…here are some happy reasons to go running:

• I feel good after I finish.  All that sweating apparently flushes out all my negativity or something lame like that.
• I get that 15 minutes of runner’s high (Ok I only run for about 30 minutes so far…so I don’t have a long high…but I bet it gets better as I run longer distances).
• I have cool shoes. 

Sadly…I’m having problems thinking up positive things. 

This could be more to do with the fact that we just had an hour long meeting about all the layoffs that will be coming soon and how we won’t find out if we have a job until sometime in May.  Kind of puts a downer on the day. 

However, I would like to say that as much as I complain about it, I really do like to run.  It’s a nice way to relieve tension and it makes me feel better about having eaten those cookies for lunch and things like that. 

So I will try not to be Debbie Downer in my next post and I will post something positive.  Any suggestions or topics you want to hear?  (You can comment them or email me them). 

So…I am 20 weeks away from the half marathon.  That doesn’t sound like very much time.  I’m freaking out thinking of how badly I’m going to die when it comes time to actually RUN it.  F and I have agreed to crawl across the finish line together :-).  I feel that it may actually come to that.  (Although I think F is a better runner so he’ll probably finish ahead of me…which leaves me crawling on my lonesome boo).  As of now, the only goals I have for this race are as follows:

• I would like to actually finish the race
• I would like to not be last.

That’s it.  Those are my only requirements.  They seem reasonable do they not? 

Ok moving on from the running.  I get a nervous tummy just thinking about it. 

I have decided to mail AS her gift (although I guess technically I’m mailing it to R and M) simply b/c I love getting mail (especially packages! especially packages I didn’t order!) so I assume everyone else does as well.  Also, if I mail it, I don’t have to give it to R in front of everyone at the spaghetti dinner where it will be open to ridicule from everyone else (ugh I know my family is really nice and would NEVER ridicule it to my face…but again with that whole hating to give gifts thing…and it would be even worse if they ridiculed it behind my back!).  This way, if it is hated…only THEY will know.  :-)  Sounds like solid thinking to me.  So…it should be off in the mail today. 

Ok so I’m pretty sure I gave myself a slight concussion today.  I was getting into my car this morning to drive to work and I’m not sure how I misjudged the height of the door, but I totally whacked my head on the top of the door.  Ugh.  It definitely hurt, but I basically ignored it and then actually forgot about it.  But all day my head was killing me.  I was having a raging headache and I was not a happy camper.  Then, I went to rub the top of my head and I realized I have a huge bump on it!  It explains SO much :-).

But, on a positive note, I finished the blanket for my new cousin AS (she gets a second initial simply b/c her middle name rocks!).  It looks much prettier than the first one I made (the first one was so ugly K LAUGHED when she saw it).  However, my picture taking abilities are pretty shitty…so it’s hard to see it.  However the two colors are raspberry and pink (yay!) and it’s a modified basketweave type pattern.  It’s one of the few larger items I’ve made that I’ve REALLY liked.  I kind of want to keep it for myself :-).  So keep in mind the real life thing is much cooler looking!
 

The first picture is of the entire blanket chilling on my love seat (the weird spike in the middle at the back is from a pillow…I said my picture taking abilities sucked).  The second out of focus picture is the best I could do to get a close up of the pattern.  If you look really closely you can see the every three stitches the stitches “change direction”.  If you can’t see that…just look for the semi-checkerboard type pattern.  If you can’t see that…sorry.  I tried. Like I said…I suck at taking pictures.

Anyways, now I need to get this to my aunt R and my cousin AS.  I haven’t decided if I should mail it out there or if I should just wait and bring it to the spaghetti dinner in a few weeks.  Sigh…decisions decisions. 

So I ran my first 5k this morning.  When I signed up for this race, the course was described as a “mainly flat course with a few hills to keep you from getting bored.”.  This seemed like a good choice for a first race since I’m not used to running outside or anything like that.  Yeah…so whoever described this course is obviously smoking crack.  I would probably describe the course as a series of gently rolling hills.  So not what I had been looking for.

Oh well it’s over.  My next race isn’t until May 24 which will hopefully be enough time to make me more comfortable running outside. 

Fun Facts Friday (I’m feeling a little random today)

• The “I” key on my computer is broken.  Sometimes I have to type it 3-4 times before it registers.  Other times I barely tap it and it will type it 3 times in a row.  It’s always a fun mystery which way it will be
• I ate Mexican for lunch.  I am so uncomfortably full (and I didn’t even eat that much) that I am having to resist the urge to go throw it all back up in the bathroom.  (I realize that is wrong on so many different levels). 
• I am not a fan of any form of competition.  I have ALWAYS hated competition.  I get a nervous tummy whenever I am called on to compete for something. 
• As much as I hate to compete, I voluntarily played sports my entire childhood.  Right before the start of games, I would start praying for some sort of inclement weather that would force us to cancel games.  If that didn’t happen I would constantly pray that the ball (or whatever it was) wouldn’t come near me and I wouldn’t have to make a play.  This feeling would last for approximately 15 minutes into the game, then I would be fine.
• Except for track.  I HATED track meets.  I loved the practices and the running.  I hated the meets.  The entire time I ran in the meet, I would just keep begging for it to be over.  I never got comfortable running in meets. 
• I also tend to see competition in things where there is no competition.
• I am running a 5K tomorrow.  It’s just a fun run.  I’m nervous about running in it in case I don’t do well. 
• I took a Myers-Briggs test thing.  I am an extroverted introvert.  I feel that that fits me well. 
• I tend to bury my head in the sand like an ostrich when it comes to work.  I’ve decided to just ignore the lay-offs at work and pretend they don’t apply to me.  I do this a lot. 
• I have a really dumb dog.  Yesterday, he was trying to jump up onto the dining room table (which is about 4 feet taller than he is).  He kept missing and fell into his water bowl.  Then he tried to jump onto the couch (which he normally can do).  This time he kept jumping from too far back and hitting his head on the cushions.  He did this REPEATEDLY.

Yeah…that’s all I’ve got for today.  Sorry…I’m boring

So I’m super glad I didn’t have to travel to Indiana when this happened.  It took place about a block from the hotel I usually stay at. 

I got a really nice email today, and I really want to thank the person for sending it to me…but I’m not sure how to word it without sounding like a lame loser. 

When I went to tutor M on Tuesday, they had a sign up saying they were testing, so I just left a note for her teacher asking if there was a different day that week I could come.  She emailed me and we agreed I could come on Friday at the same time I normally go on Tuesday.  Then, she wrote this to me:

Things Annoying Me: 

• Currently, two of my friends are “fighting”.  M has a problem with H and asked for my opinion if she should say something.  She then says something to H.  H gets upset.  M then quotes me as saying something that I don’t remember saying.  And even if I DID say it…I didn’t say it in the way M implied.  M basically twisted my words into me also attacking H.  Why would M even bring me into it?  Argh.
• It’s very humid today.  I feel gross and sweaty even though I’m just sitting here.  I want to take a shower.
• I’m writing a report.  It does NOT want to get written.  I’m having a lot of problems figuring out how to organize it so that it is easy to follow and makes sense.
• My mouth is killing me (it’s seriously very sore).

Things Making Me Happy:

• Today is cross-training day.  That means it’s an easy day at the gym.
• I run my first race of the “training season” on Saturday.
• The sun came out today.
• My face is finally not numb.
• I haven’t ripped any clothes today.
• I had yummy, fresh baked cookies that were still warm.
• I finally made it to the post office.
• I finished my trip report.
• The week is half over.
• I found a new author I like and I requested her books at the library.  They should be ready to pick up soon.

Over all…today is a good day. 

Me: Hmm, I woke up a little early today.  Maybe I’ll just go back to sleep for another half hour or so and ignore the rainy day outside.

Karma: Ha!  You think I’ll let you sleep today?  Mwahahahaha!  Just for that insolence…you will now dream about GIANT bugs attacking you while your mom sits and LAUGHS at you! Mwhahahaha. 

Me: Wow, what a shitty dream.  I guess I’ll just wake up instead and go to work early.

Karma: Oh you think you can outsmart me huh?  Quick, Oscar, come here!  While she’s half naked go pretend to poop in the corner so she gets all tangled up in her clothes trying to stop you.  Ah…success.

Me: Thanks for that crappy trick Oscar.  See if you get your milkbone today. 

Karma: Oh…so now you’re threatening your dog.  Real nice S.  Just for that…here’s another shitty trick. 

Me (after searching for 20 minutes): Hmm, how did my phone end up under the couch cushion?  I haven’t even been over to that side of the room this morning.  Oh well, guess it’s time to go to work.  And since it’s so early I should be there in plenty of time and I’ll even be able to leave work early.

Karma: Ahh…so you think you can leave work early today?  pshaw!

Me: WTF?  How is it taking me an hour and a half to get to work today?  Why are there no traffic reports warning me of upcoming traffic?  Why are all the traffic lights on this road broken?  Why is there so much traffic?  Why would they even THINK of doing construction during rush hour on the road leading RIGHT TO MY OFFICE where literally the 2100 people from my office building go to work on this road. 

Karma: HAHAHAHAHA I laugh at your frustration.

Me: Well at least I don’t really have anything important today.  I just have to go tutor M which will cheer me up, and then I can sit at my desk for the day and just write a report and not think too much.

Karma:  Oh…so tutoring makes you happy does it? 

Me: Shit!  What do you mean their class is testing this week?  Why didn’t anyone bother to tell me not to waste my time driving all the way over here?  Guh!  I guess I’ll go back to work.

Karma:  Hmm…you don’t seem quite broken enough…don’t worry I still have a few more tricks up my sleeve.

Me: Shit…why is my computer making that sound?  Oh crap…why do I get the feeling my computer is going to explode?  Oh phew…its just crashing.  I’ll just reboot about 5 times.  It will start working again soon. 

Karma: Well shit!  I thought for SURE the computer would finish you off.  How about this?

Me: Oh shoot.  I forgot the notebook I needed in the car.  I should go get it so I can do this report.

Karma: Oh….I got you now.

Me: Seriously?  What else can you do to me?  I’m just going to sit at my desk for the rest of the day and not move.  You have no more opportunities.  Oh you have got to be fucking kidding me.  Who changed the height of these steps?  Lovely.  I just ripped my favorite pair of pants and my knee is nice and swollen.  I give up.  Whatever I did to piss you off…I’m sorry.  I won’t do it again.  Just let me get to my desk and I’ll sit there quietly.  You won’t even know I’m here.

Karma: Ha! I always win.  But just so you remember for next time…

Me: Stupid fucking railing.  Was it really necessary to also put a hole in my shirt? 

This morning my sister J sent me this article.

Apparently we are horrible people that think alike, because the first thing we both thought was “wow this lady must be a complete bitch if BOTH husbands did it!”.  Then I felt sympathy for her…I mean…come on…TWICE (while still thinking…wtf is wrong with her that she inspires people to do this?).  If I were her, I would be terrified of marrying or becoming friends with anyone else after this.  

UPDATE:
For those who saw the earlier version of this post…I decided to take down the rest of the post.  As strongly as I feel about it, I just don’t want to start any controversy and I don’t want anyone to be mad at me.  So.  This is all you get today.  Sorry for wussing out on you.